20 de junho de 2011
Although we all know what we should do in our studies, work, social life, family life etc, it is natural for human beings to expect recognition for the tasks well done.
In psychology this recognition is known as Validation.
Everyone becomes happy to receive a validation. Validation is good for the soul and the ego of the person; it increases self-esteem and sense of worth of its recipient.
There are several forms of validation. Validation ranges from a simple praise, words of encouragement, Merit medals, certificates, awards, trophies, gifts, as well as various forms of incentives.
All parents should learn the importance of validation and should validate their children when they get or do something with good results. This attitude encourages children and makes them more self-reliant.
Validation is also important in a love relationship. The wife praising good pasta or a delicious barbecue prepared by her husband is a validation. This type of validation helps in sustaining a long lasting marriage.
The teacher writing "Congratulations!" in the exam or in a school work well done by his student is a form of validation that is sure to make the student happy, no matter what her age is. This validation encourages her to continue her studies in the best possible way.
Validation legitimizes, confers value, confirms, emphasizes, recognizes and enhances the other person. It is one of the best things we can give to someone, as by doing so, we raise their self-esteem and we give them confidence to continue doing their best.
The big corporations are well aware of the importance of validation and therefore they promote annual awards and even monthly awards as "employee of the month" as a way to stimulate the employees and thus increasing productivity.
Go on, through your life, validating....
11 de junho de 2011
We all know that suicide is the act of ending one's own life.
Usually, when one talks about or a news is published about a suicide, we find phrases like, “jumped off from the bridge”, “hung himself”, “cut his wrists”, etc.
There are many ways to kill one’s self. Generally, the concept of suicide ingrained in our unconscious, is the deliberate and abrupt act of ceasing one’s existence. However, we must always remember that suicide may also be a slow process, that most people who practice it are not aware of it.
A person who suffers from diabetes and still insists on eating carbohydrates and sugars is practicing Slow Suicide. The same applies to a person with high levels of "bad" cholesterol, and keep on eating fried and fatty foods.
Smokers, drug users, alcoholics, all of them practice Slow Suicide, as they shorten their life span by not giving the necessary importance to their health.
Slow Suicide is also practiced by people with emotional / psychological problems, which do not give adequate attention to their condition, for example it is not healthy to have panic attacks. Panic Disorder causes shivering, sweating, decreased of the visual field, palpitations and other physical symptoms that over a period of time will wears down the person's body.
In a broad way, we can say that Slow Suicide is practiced by all that in spite of knowing they have health problems or unhealthy lifestyles, they continue to act in a childish way, ignoring their problem, be it physical or mental, as if it did not exist, and by so doing, they shorten their years of life on this planet.
If Slow Suicide is a new concept for you, please stop and think about it.
Check whether you or a loved one is practicing Slow Suicide; if the answer is ‘yes’, do something to reverse this situation.
Actually, we all know what is right and what is wrong, and what is the best path to follow.
Committing Slow suicide ... are you sure that is what you want for yourself?
6 de junho de 2011
Todos já ouvimos o ditado popular que diz: “De Boas Intenções o Inferno Está Cheio”, mas na verdade o que significa?
Em primeiro lugar devo dizer que não sei se o inferno está cheio ou não, porque não fui lá conferir (ainda bem!!).
O que este dito popular quer dizer é que não basta somente termos boas intenções. Muito além de boas intenções precisamos agir, precisamos fazer algo na prática, executar algo concreto e acima de tudo, precisamos ter certeza de que realmente sabemos o que estamos fazendo e sobretudo, precisamos fazer o melhor que pudermos.
Se você é apenas bem intencionado, não estará acrescentando muita coisa a este mundo, pelo contrário, pode estar inclusive piorando uma situação já difícil e complicada. Não basta que tenhamos somente boas intenções, precisamos fazer a coisa certa!
Imagine que você quer ajudar seu filho em um trabalho escolar, mas não compreende completamente o assunto em questão. Apesar de ter boas intenções você pode passar uma informação equivocada e pode acabar por confundi-lo e atrapalhar em sua nota.
Uma esposa pode querer secretariar o marido e ajuda-lo a escrever relatórios aos clientes, mas no entanto não tendo domínio sobre o computador, acaba por apertar algum comando que o faz perder todo seu trabalho. A esposa zelosa estava com boas intenções mas acabou prejudicando ao invés de ajudar.
Eu posso ter a boa intenção de curar alguém ao receitar-lhe um remédio, porém não sendo médica, posso acabar por prejudicar e piorar ainda mais o estado de saúde da pessoa que na verdade eu tinha a boa intenção de ajudar.
Estes são exemplos simples do porque “de boas intenções o inferno está Cheio”.
Não basta ter boas intenções é imprescindivel saber fazer a coisa certa!
2 de junho de 2011
Mourning is a natural reaction and a slow and painful process of adjustment following a significant loss we suffered in life.
Mourning is felt not only when a loved one dies. Having a toy that you loved, lost, stolen or destroyed, at 6 years of age, or a dog killed by a car, are also forms of mourning. Doesn’t matter if it is an inanimate object or an animal, what matters is that they had great meaning in that person's life and it was a loss, and as such, capable of the same feelings of pain and anguish of mourning.
Other significant losses that may also generate pain and anguish as in a mourning are: Disability after a casualty, loss of any part of the body (hand, leg, foot, arm), a mastectomy, loss of vision, a rape and even loss of a job.
For many people, other forms of losses may include, losing hope in a goal that the person had set for himself, shifting to a new house, city, state, country or suffering an economic ruin. These events are considered losses that generate anguish feelings as in mourning.
Romantic Mourning is accompanied by such an intense pain that it seems it will never go away and we cannot live without the company of the lost loved one.
Besides being extremely painful, romantic mourning creates great emotional and physical distress.
The breakup of a close loving relationship, whether by divorce, separation or abandonment, carries a feeling of such deep sorrow, that according to psychologists, this is the second most important type of painful and tragic loss that a person can endures.
Allow yourself to feel the pain, anguish, guilt and fear, so that these feelings can be naturally digested and by doing so, allow the wound to heal within the normal range and this way will not turn into obsession.